Saturday, November 13, 2010

A not so typical day !!!

"Don’t tell me what to do…" She said as she slammed the door shut with a bang… flopped over on the bed and sat very still… tryin to control the tear that hung at the very edge of her eye… threatening to drop over to wet her lashes any second now…

She was certainly feeling down… Damn the hormones… always acting at the wrong time… she din want to be sad and cross n so pissed off now…

‘The airtel jingle……’ in the background…. It’s the cell phone… reaching beneath her, she pulls it out from under a pillow…
Damn it !!! Boyfriend found no better time to call…. He is probably calling after a hectic day at work… She knows she needs to stay cool…

She tries her best…. After a couple of lines… we hear raised voices…

[Awww…Shut up! I don’t want to listen to your crappy jokes right now… says her mind, but she doesn’t dare say it aloud]

She tries her best to laugh…a hollow mirthless sound comes out…

He gets the message… “k, then… we ll talk later… I m gonna be pretty busy the rest of the evening… We better talk tmrw… Night !”

This from the guy she thought was her soulmate… Cant blame him though…

She is on the verge of breaking up… She is need of a good cry… she just has to start feeling sorry for herself… and then the tears flow… down her plump cheeks to wet the pink n blue pillowcase….

Once the flow ceases, she gets up n sees herself in the full length mirror placed facing her bed… She sees her tear stained face n breaks down again… “ I deserve someone better” and other feeling sorry for herself thoughts fill her small mind… until she cries her heart out…

Thirty minutes later… she texts him… “I m sorry… I din mean to be rude…Call back.”

No calls…. Well.. he has a right to be pissed off at her.. How the hell is he supposed to know her hormones are partying tonight???

She texts a friend… Jus to keep her mind off other ‘not-so-pleasant’ things…

Hey.. whats up???
No reply… She is probably @ work.

Same msg forwarded to a couple of others…

One replies… Hi… how u doing?

I m feeling down…

It ll pass… give it some time… Hey gtg… ll text u later…

The idiot… let him text me when he wants my advice on how to make some dumb females fall for him… Ll show him.

She picks up a book to read… after 13 minutes of reading the same lines over and again.. she calls it quits…

Goes over to the PC… opens her fav bookmarked sites… Gmail n FB… Awwwww My God… A lot many people online… She hides… Gmail provides an invisibility cloak… Thank You… Reads a lot of stat updates on fb, finds them all crappy….

Types out one on her own…

“ There are a LOT of words I want to use to express how I am feeling right now but not one of them is polite enough to type here !!! :P”

That makes her feel no better… logs out… slams the laptop shut…

Goes over to her room…

Time for another cry… but wait… She din feel like crying anymore… She was angry… for no reason at all…

She ll have to wait… until it passes…. It will… But until it does… she s gonna feel this crazy….

The next lucky one in line is the best friend… Oh… He tries his best…

I feel like a cat let out in the rain… she tells him…

He listens… patiently…. That’s only what he can go… No use stuffing sense into her… wont work now…

After the call… she lies silently… in retrospection…

And sleeps off…..


The Morning after….

OH MY GOD… What was I doing last night????

Texts bf first… Hey… am sorry sweetie… I really am… I know I acted crazy… Pls don’t be mad at me…

Its okay honey… I m sorry too… I should ve have known better…

J Muah !



And the best frnd… Hey.. I did act really crazy ystrdy, right… Thank you.. for hearing me out….

No issues… That’s what friends are for, aren’t they???

And …. Mom….

So… Do u want breakfast or would you rather have me to eat instead???

Sorry Mom… U know how it is…

( a huge hug n its all set right…)


[There ends my story…]

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Bewildered !!!


I want to read…
But my mind’s miles away.

I d love to write…
But words fail to come to me.

Noise all around…
But silence reverberates within.

Laughter all around…
But my heart sobs within.

People surround me…
But its solitude I crave.

Blazing lights outside…
But darkness prevails within.

Try as I might to smile…
It’s a tear which rolls down my cheek.

Sane though I appear…
Insane I feel within.

Walking along life’s long road…
It is fear I feel within.

Monday, August 9, 2010

Partners.. in Love ?




Scene I

He entered and moved swiftly to his seat…
He was two minutes late.
She was due in another three minutes.

She always came on time, a full five minutes after he did.




He ordered the usual and sat waiting expectantly.. She swung the door open, her head held high… a familiar air of confidence and style about her… He had been watching her for a week now.

She sat across the room, with her paper in hand and the lanky kid waiter, who he suspected had a huge crush on her, placed the usual orange juice and toast before her.

She looked at him… for the first time, or so he thought… She looked up and smiled…

Those rich lips, the high cheekbones, the arched brows… the short wavy hair framing the heart shaped face… the smile went up to her almond shaped eyes…

He smiled back… a shy grin…


Scene II

They hit off quite quickly… It all began with that smile.. n this is where they ended up… snuggled in each others arms…

Everything was jus right… the passion…for life… for each other…their likes and dislikes… They moulded into each other’s life beautifully.

However there was one thing missing… there was no love between them… and they were comfortable with how things were… No commitment… No strings attached…



It was she who asked once during the early days of their relationship as to what he expected from her… And his answer pleased her… He just wanted to have fun… till it lasts…

HIM:

No one really knew the real him.. Quite an introvert.. happy being left alone… in his own world… books, movies…

Not much of a party animal… but amazingly.. he always gets the best girls… he doesn’t even have to flirt…They seem to be attracted to him as if by magic…

HER:

The eternal romantic…. Believes in fairy tales… happy endings… Love at first sight n love forever…

Has been in wait for her dream guy… the perfect one who can turn the unsung medley of her life into a lovely melody…


But then how did she settle for a relationship with him???


Searching for the ideal guy and always in wait for the perfect one… she threw away many propositions that came her way…

Eventually she settled for one that seemed like a dream come true… a love story fit to be a movie script….

But then problems arose…

She left him…. in search of something better…

She had had enough of serious commitments…. Of broken promises… and tear stained pillows…

She wanted excitement… thrill…

She was in it for fun too…


Scene III


And there they lay happily… in each other’s arms…. Without a thought for anything else in this world…


Until her cell phone rang…

“Yeah honey, I ll be right there…”

To him… she said… Its my fiancĂ©.. I gotta go… its been great being with you… Thank you for giving me a lovely time… I m getting engaged this Sunday…

And… if I ever decide to get involved in an extra marital affair, you ll be the first one I call… she said as she closed the door behind her… her eyes still twinkling… her smile still bright…

That night… he sat alone… on the couch.. where they lay entwined a few hours back…

“She’d been nice… he liked her a lot.. the fire of their passion hadn’t died yet…
Drat!!! Now he d have to find some one to replace her…”


Epilogue:

[ I don’t know if its fitting… Anyways, I liked this quote.. And It stays here…as a epilogue.. Whether u like it or not…]


“When we're incomplete, we're always searching for somebody to complete us. When, after a few years or a few months of a relationship, we find that we're still unfulfilled, we blame our partners and take up with somebody more promising. This can go on and on--series polygamy--until we admit that while a partner can add sweet dimensions to our lives, we, each of us, are responsible for our own fulfillment. Nobody else can provide it for us, and to believe otherwise is to delude ourselves dangerously and to program for eventual failure every relationship we enter.”

Monday, June 21, 2010

What would I not give…

[ Okay... Now this is a desperate attempt... My rankin at Indiblogger went down to 57 frm 73 coz its been a couple of months since I last posted... I had to do sumthin... scribbled sumthin... n here it is... It might sound very similar to the last post.. I m sorry.. Squeezed in everythin I hav to write this... got nothin more to say...  ]



To listen to you..
call out my name once again….
And answer with a nod…
As I always do…

To look into your eyes…
and see you smile…
when I tell u
What you mean to me…

To have your arms around me…
Tellin me everythings fine…
And to hug you tight…
feeling your warmth…

To talk to you…
All through the night…
And to wake up…
Knowing I have you…

To walk with you…
On those rainy days…
And catch those drops…
Splattering around us…

To walk about...
Holding hands…
And watch the waves...
Sitting on the sands...

To fight with you…
Hold back tears..
And sit and sob…
Till you get back…

Watch u sleep
In the middle of the night…
And wake u up
Jus to say I love you…

I wish and hope and pray…
For you to come my way…
And brighten up my life
Like you did that day…


I ll wait…
Till time grows old…
For I know…
You ll be back someday…

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Make My Day !!!





Give me a smile…
Sing me a song…
Hug me tight…
Keep me close….






Walk with me…
Hold my hands…
Tell me a joke…
Hear me laugh…












Sit by me,
Silently…
And let me know…
You like me…











Take me to the ocean…
To watch the waves…
The dipping sun…
And the salty air…








Listen to me talk…
Look and nod…
Tell me stories…
I d love to hear…









Lend me a shoulder
To cry upon…
When something happens
That tears me apart…








Tell me you love me
That you care…
And whatever happens,
You’ll be there…










This is what it takes…
To make my day…
Simple though it may seem…
No one seems to care…

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Reflections on India - Sean Paul Kelly

A new post.... Fully plagiarized....

Reflections on India - Sean Paul Kelly

I got this as a mail the day before..

I guess many if not all of you must have read this... To those who havent... here goes....
and to those to have... it wont hurt to read it once again....


If you are Indian, or of Indian descent, I must preface this post with a clear warning: you are not going to like what I have to say. My criticisms may be very hard to stomach. But consider them as the hard words and loving advice of a good friend. Someone who’s being honest with you and wants nothing from you. These criticisms apply to all of India except Kerala and the places I didn’t visit, except that I have a feeling it applies to all of India, except as I mentioned before, Kerala. Lastly, before anyone accuses me of Western Cultural Imperialism, let me say this: if this is what India and Indians want, then hey, who am I to tell them differently. Take what you like and leave the rest. In the end it doesn’t really matter, as I get the sense that Indians, at least many upper class Indians, don’t seem to care and the lower classes just don’t know any better, what with Indian culture being so intense and pervasive on the sub-continent. But here goes, nonetheless.
India is a mess. It’s that simple, but it’s also quite complicated. I’ll start with what I think are India’s four major problems–the four most preventing India from becoming a developing nation–and then move to some of the ancillary ones.
First, pollution. In my opinion the filth, squalor and all around pollution indicates a marked lack of respect for India by Indians. I don’t know how cultural the filth is, but it’s really beyond anything I have ever encountered. At times the smells, trash, refuse and excrement are like a garbage dump. Right next door to the Taj Mahal was a pile of trash that smelled so bad, was so foul as to almost ruin the entire Taj experience. Delhi, Bangalore and Chennai to a lesser degree were so very polluted as to make me physically ill. Sinus infections, ear infection, bowels churning was an all to common experience in India. Dung, be it goat, cow or human fecal matter was common on the streets. In major tourist areas filth was everywhere, littering the sidewalks, the roadways, you name it. Toilets in the middle of the road, men urinating and defecating anywhere, in broad daylight. Whole villages are plastic bag wastelands. Roadsides are choked by it. Air quality that can hardly be called quality. Far too much coal and far to few unleaded vehicles on the road. The measure should be how dangerous the air is for one’s health, not how good it is. People casually throw trash in the streets, on the roads. The only two cities that could be considered sanitary in my journey were Trivandrum–the capital of Kerala–and Calicut. I don’t know why this is. But I can assure you that at some point this pollution will cut into India’s productivity, if it already hasn’t. The pollution will hobble India’s growth path, if that indeed is what the country wants. (Which I personally doubt, as India is far too conservative a country, in the small ‘c’ sense.)
The second issue, infrastructure, can be divided into four subcategories: roads, rails and ports and the electrical grid. The electrical grid is a joke. Load shedding is all too common, everywhere in India. Wide swaths of the country spend much of the day without the electricity they actually pay for. With out regular electricity, productivity, again, falls. The ports are a joke. Antiquated, out of date, hardly even appropriate for the mechanized world of container ports, more in line with the days of longshoremen and the like. Roads are an equal disaster. I only saw one elevated highway that would be considered decent in Thailand, much less Western Europe or America. And I covered fully two thirds of the country during my visit. There are so few dual carriage way roads as to be laughable. There are no traffic laws to speak of, and if there are, they are rarely obeyed, much less enforced. A drive that should take an hour takes three. A drive that should take three takes nine. The buses are at least thirty years old, if not older. Everyone in India, or who travels in India raves about the railway system. Rubbish. It’s awful. Now, when I was there in 2003 and then late 2004 it was decent. But in the last five years the traffic on the rails has grown so quickly that once again, it is threatening productivity. Waiting in line just to ask a question now takes thirty minutes. Routes are routinely sold out three and four days in advance now, leaving travelers stranded with little option except to take the decrepit and dangerous buses. At least fifty million people use the trains a day in India. 50 million people! Not surprising that waitlists of 500 or more people are common now. The rails are affordable and comprehensive but they are overcrowded and what with budgetairlines popping up in India like Sadhus in an ashram the middle and lowers classes are left to deal with the overutilized rails and quality suffers. No one seems to give a shit. Seriously, I just never have the impression that the Indian government really cares. Too interested in buying weapons from Russia, Israel and the US I guess.
The last major problem in India is an old problem and can be divided into two parts that’ve been two sides of the same coin since government was invented: bureaucracy and corruption. It take triplicates to register into a hotel. To get a SIM card for one’s phone is like wading into a jungle of red-tape and photocopies one is not likely to emerge from in a good mood, much less satisfied with customer service. Getting train tickets is a terrible ordeal, first you have to find the train number, which takes 30 minutes, then you have to fill in the form, which is far from easy, then you have to wait in line to try and make a reservation, which takes 30 minutes at least and if you made a single mistake on the form back you go to the end of the queue, or what passes for a queue in India. The government is notoriously uninterested in the problems of the commoners, too busy fleecing the rich, or trying to get rich themselves in some way shape or form. Take the trash for example, civil rubbish collection authorities are too busy taking kickbacks from the wealthy to keep their areas clean that they don’t have the time, manpower, money or interest in doing their job. Rural hospitals are perennially understaffed as doctors pocket the fees the government pays them, never show up at the rural hospitals and practice in the cities instead.
I could go on for quite some time about my perception of India and its problems, but in all seriousness, I don’t think anyone in India really cares. And that, to me, is the biggest problem. India is too conservative a society to want to change in any way. Mumbai, India’s financial capital is about as filthy, polluted and poor as the worst city imaginable in Vietnam, or Indonesia–and being more polluted than Medan, in Sumatra is no easy task. The biggest rats I have ever seen were in Medan!
One would expect a certain amount of, yes, I am going to use this word, backwardness, in a country that hasn’t produced so many Nobel Laureates, nuclear physicists, imminent economists and entrepreneurs. But India has all these things and what have they brought back to India with them? Nothing. The rich still have their servants, the lower castes are still there to do the dirty work and so the country remains in stasis. It’s a shame. Indians and India have many wonderful things to offer the world, but I’m far from sanguine that India will amount to much in my lifetime.
Now, have at it, call me a cultural imperialist, a spoiled child of the West and all that. But remember, I’ve been there. I’ve done it. And I’ve seen 50 other countries on this planet and none, not evenEthiopia, have as long and gargantuan a laundry list of problems as India does. And the bottom line is, I don’t think India really cares. Too complacent and too conservative.



P.S : I repeat... there is nothin in here which is mine... But I did not feel the need to add anythin more...