Sunday, September 22, 2013

Hues !!!

The powdery red sindoor
The big maroon bindi
The jet black kajal lining her doe eyes
The tiny ruby nose ring
The plum coloured lipstick on her full lips
The stain of the yellow turmeric on her arms
And the orange brown mehendi filling her palms
The white jasmine flowers adorning her hair
The glistening white,gold and red bangles
Her sparkling solitaire diamond ring
The shiny nude nailpolish
The tiny black beads on her mangalsutra
The sterling silver toe rings
The olive green saree with the pallu just covering her head
The deep sea blue curtains in the room
The pink rose petals on the bed
The crisp white sheets


She was sent back home the next day. I wonder if it was her fault alone that she could not stain the sheets a bright red?

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

The One with the What-if's !

‘I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference’ - RF

What if I had chosen not to go for that camp?
What if I had not accepted that friend’s request?
What if I had declined the invitation to sit next to him in the bus?
What if I had not smiled back the first time he smiled at me?
What if I had not ended up sitting next to her the first day of college?
What if I had listened to him and been an Engineer instead?
What if I had not found the courage to defy them?
What if she had not moved in near me at the hostel?
What if I had been prejudiced and stayed aloof?
What if I hadn’t replied to the first mail?
What if I had taken the job offer?
What if I had not had the guts to break up?
What if I had decided to stay?
What if it were not for the eBook? ( :D)
What if I hadn’t picked up the phone that night?
What if I had not said YES?
What if I had not given him a chance?
What if I had not let go?



As we grow older, we realize life is a series of ‘What-if’s’. And it was entirely our choice that brought us to where we are now. I have learnt not to regret anything I did because at one point in my life, I was sure it was the best thing to do. As I look back on my life, I would say, but not with a sigh, I took the road less traveled by and it has made all the difference. Maybe my life has not even been close to perfect, I have not done everything right, not taken the best decisions, but I’m glad I took all those chances, I’m glad I had all those good times. I am happy I met YOU, I am relieved I let go off you, I am pleased I let YOU stay, I am grateful YOU are a part of my life and YOU, I don’t give a rat’s ass bout you :P The pleasure has always been mine :D

Sunday, September 1, 2013

From my Vantage Point

“You don't know me. You know one me, just like I know one you. And you can't know every me, and I can't know every you.”
― David Levithan, Every You, Every Me

I see her, married and divorced at 25. She is a year younger to me. She has known happiness and sorrow alike, loved and hated, the same person over a span of a few years. And now she walks alone. Independent. Living life, her way. Her eyes are kind, she has a pretty smile but is quite blunt at times and has an air of arrogance around her which few others can't seem to stand.

I see him. Bewildered. He’s young. And sensitive. But insensitive to other’s feelings. Immature. He is a chauvinist. And waiting to fall in love. I want to tell him, Good luck with that!

I see her. Confused. She is depressed all the time. Always on the lookout for a reason to worry. She spreads the dark aura around her, wherever she goes. Talk to her for an hour and you will feel suicidal. She tries hard to fit in, everywhere. I wish I could tell her that her worries aren’t going to get her anywhere, Get a life, girl!

I see him. A tad eccentric. Always smiling, a happy go lucky fellow trying to carve his niche in the world. Others ridicule him. I like him. He’s always nice to me.

I see her. Married. To a guy her parents found for her. He wants her Dad’s money. She tries to love him. Like she loved the other guy. Her first love. The man she wanted to marry. They were together for seven years. He just happened to be following a different religion.  

I see her. A multitude of fa├žades. Someone I have to try hard to tolerate. Looks anorexic. She is self-obsessed. And mysterious. I like the way she giggles.

I see him. He has been married for a couple of months. And is unhappy. She is not the kind of person he wanted.  He has sleepless nights, worries a lot and he drinks; to forget his qualms. I want to tell him, don’t be a coward. Running away from your problems is never a solution.

I see her. Married and blessed with two little kids. She runs around trying to manage work and family. She’s a mess. She shirks her responsibilities. Maybe she’s just fed up. She has a beautiful smile. I wish I could tell her, Learn to prioritize.

I see him. He’s very young. Everything that comes out of his mouth is laced with sarcasm. He’s funny but people are cautious when they talk to him. He’s going to have a hard time when he grows up and finds out a lot of what he believes in, is utter bullshit. Humility is a virtue he doesn't know exists.

I am but a mute observer. I am not perfect, not even close to perfect. Maybe, I should be spending more time on self-introspection and bettering myself. 
But it’s beautiful, watching people, wondering what’s going on in their minds. Finding my own reasons, justifications for whatever they did. It makes life a lot interesting.



Thursday, June 13, 2013

Little Green Wings

So fragile and feeble it looked
The little black head,
And the petite green wings
which sustained its existence

It just sat there motionless
Rooted to its spot,
As I tried to capture it live
With my camera’s lenses

A nudge and a gust of air
Weren't enough to make it sway,
It just stood there, proud
And made me sit and ponder.

I thought of its life span
The very little time it had,
And how it remained unperturbed
Unlike countless others I knew

There was no haste
It had nowhere to go visit,
No commitments to be kept
Or desires to be met

It was content and so at ease
Sitting there awaiting its destiny,
Never will I know if it had been told
That it was to perish, but in a day

The sun went down and rose again
The green wings stayed,
Serene and unruffled, in a form so lifeless
But you would never know the difference

It had passed on
Without much ado,
Whether anyone cared
I guess we will never know.


I talked to someone recently who told me death freaks him out. He who thinks there is so much to lose in death; people you love, ambitions, things you haven't seen, you haven't done, places you haven’t gone to. Thought of you while writing this :)
Shot at SBT, NIT C a couple of weeks back :)

Monday, April 15, 2013

CLOSURE

Every break up needs closure.


That’s what my bestie always says. And now I know it’s true.I love you. I always have and maybe a part of me will forever will. But all that love wasn't enough to make me stay.
I can almost hear you tell your friends and to all others who ask, “She dumped me”. It might be true. To those who hear, to those who feel sorry for you, those who despise me for what I supposedly did to you-I owe no explanations. But you.. Yes, I do owe you one.I tried giving you one. I tried explaining it to you a million times. You were never convinced. Now that I'm sure that you are moving on, I need to get this out of my mind. I need to prove it to myself that I did not make a mistake.


I have no regrets. I did walk out on you. It was the second best decision I took after falling in love with you. Falling in love… That was very easy. The early days, all the love, the laughter, the time we spent together, the bus rides, the late night chats… I’ll never forget any of it.


But then you made a huge mistake. You took me for granted. You started ruling my life... taking decisions for me. You failed to understand that I was an individual and by agreeing to be in a relationship with you did not mean that I give up being an individual altogether. I had to give up things I liked most just because you did not think it was good for me. Just because you did not like to socialize, I had to start enjoying solitude too. Because you were an early riser, you had me go to bed early. You were so into changing me that you failed to see how much I resented all that. I tried changing, I tried adjusting but then dear love; everything has a limit.


Relationships sure ask for a lot of adjustments and adaptations but it doesn't mean you have to give up everything you believe in and become a different person. I do not know if you still understand it, you probably don’t. Maybe that’s just the way you are.



I'm sorry I had to walk out to prove my point.I'm sorry to have broken your heart. But then, as they say, better late than never. I have gotten used to living without you; living without all the rules in the relationship agreement. I am free and I am loving it.