Monday, April 15, 2013

CLOSURE

Every break up needs closure.


That’s what my bestie always says. And now I know it’s true.I love you. I always have and maybe a part of me will forever will. But all that love wasn't enough to make me stay.
I can almost hear you tell your friends and to all others who ask, “She dumped me”. It might be true. To those who hear, to those who feel sorry for you, those who despise me for what I supposedly did to you-I owe no explanations. But you.. Yes, I do owe you one.I tried giving you one. I tried explaining it to you a million times. You were never convinced. Now that I'm sure that you are moving on, I need to get this out of my mind. I need to prove it to myself that I did not make a mistake.


I have no regrets. I did walk out on you. It was the second best decision I took after falling in love with you. Falling in love… That was very easy. The early days, all the love, the laughter, the time we spent together, the bus rides, the late night chats… I’ll never forget any of it.


But then you made a huge mistake. You took me for granted. You started ruling my life... taking decisions for me. You failed to understand that I was an individual and by agreeing to be in a relationship with you did not mean that I give up being an individual altogether. I had to give up things I liked most just because you did not think it was good for me. Just because you did not like to socialize, I had to start enjoying solitude too. Because you were an early riser, you had me go to bed early. You were so into changing me that you failed to see how much I resented all that. I tried changing, I tried adjusting but then dear love; everything has a limit.


Relationships sure ask for a lot of adjustments and adaptations but it doesn't mean you have to give up everything you believe in and become a different person. I do not know if you still understand it, you probably don’t. Maybe that’s just the way you are.



I'm sorry I had to walk out to prove my point.I'm sorry to have broken your heart. But then, as they say, better late than never. I have gotten used to living without you; living without all the rules in the relationship agreement. I am free and I am loving it.