Friday, November 4, 2016


Prisma, because nothing is real anymore. It's all a memory. 

Because every day is Mother's day.
Because I cannot even begin to tell you how much I miss you.

I lost my mother. My best friend. My confidant. My mentor.
I understand it takes a lot to bring up a child and I promise I will never let you down.
I am sorry I will not be able to make you smile again.

I will survive. All those you left behind will. Thanks to the strongest person we have all known in our lives.

P.S: To you, who said I truly loved only her. It is true. I was being very selfish regarding her. I have no regrets. 

Thursday, October 6, 2016

The View!

Chaliyam Pulimutt, Calicut.
So said the grass to the rocks, 'Make some space for me. I want to live looking at the bright,blue sea'.
Symbiosis, perhaps.
I certainly envy them for the view.

Wednesday, October 5, 2016


Someplace near Beypore, Calicut

Just sometimes, we need to see things to remind us of the fragility of life. 
How fragile everything around us is.
People and possessions.
The human body and the mind alike.
No wonder they call it the web of life.

Somebody once said I am entangled in a web I created around myself. Don't we all have our safety nets? Our fallback options. Those strings that can pull us back if we wander too far.

I suffer from severe arachnophobia, but I have to admit. Some spider has been working its ass off making this beautiful web.

Friday, June 17, 2016


At Kannur, Kerala 
The fact that it has fallen,
and lies in wait to be trodden,
did nothing to diminish it's flamboyance.

P.S: Apparently, my 100th published post. Who's been counting anyway? 

Saturday, June 4, 2016

The sea.

At Bekal Fort, Kasargod, Kerala

I am the sea and the sea is me,
In the deafening silence during moments of solitude 
And the roaring lashes of my mood swings.

Wednesday, March 16, 2016

Fifty Shades of me.

I will come for you as you lie awake
Squeezing your eyes shut
Oblivious that the world inside
Is sinister than the darkness you see outside

I will watch you toss and turn
You know there is nowhere you can go
Squirm and scream if you must
But I am never letting you go.

I shall revel in the knowledge
That you will always do my bidding
Tell me your deep, dark secrets
That you never want to talk about.

Give me the key to your thoughts 
Allow me to set you free
I shall be your hero
And take away all the pain

"The monsters in your head 
are frightening for the very same reason 
everyone believes they should not be, 
they aren’t real, 
because day in and day out 
you must live with the knowledge 
that your own mind is working against you, 
whispering dark things in the middle of the night, 
disobeying your desperate cries to stop, 
your own mind is a murderous adversary, 
an enemy under your own skin,
and nothing is quite so terrifying." 

Beau Taplin.

Saturday, March 12, 2016

The Crescendo!

I asked him to play tonight. I wanted to hear him play.
It was always a soothing rhythm. Something that helped me reinforce my convictions. That everything around me is wonderful. It masks out all the noise around, the thoughts gnawing at the back of my mind, on the rickety shelves I no longer bother to dust. The bottled memories often clink, trying to catch my attention. I pay no heed because I cannot afford to get lost in their scent anymore. The smell of tobacco flowers, my favorite scent. Tuberose and lily of the valley; a whiff of my comfort zone.
I was lost in thoughts. He kept playing. The music felt strange tonight. There was a subtle change which I could faintly discern. And it got better. And beautiful. It made me want to sing along with him. I was at a loss for words, I had never bothered to sing before.

The tempo was rising.I couldn't stop the tears. The music rattled the shelves and brought all the bottles down. There was a multitude of emotions, there was the green grass we once laid upon, the pretty rainbow I loved as a child, the ocean you took me to see, the stolen kisses, the big bright moon, the tight hugs and the forgotten goodbyes, the stray hair on my forehead you brushed away. There were shades of red- the cards, the balloons and the blood.

And then it started. The downpour I had been waiting for. He was playing away, blind to the waves he was sending across my way. The tears ran down my cheeks. It was beautiful, like never before. The memories which caused all the havoc stood silently watching me cry. They had finally reached out to me.

"And that’s when the meaning of the dream hit me even while I was inside its architecture: this was my psyche’s coping mechanism. For dealing with the fact that I would never have you. Sour grapes from the subconscious.
We think the longing ends. But it doesn't. It finds a new language. Sneaks on us from behind." - From Labyrinths, by Philips John.

Thursday, March 10, 2016

Maybe that's us.

All credits to Vimal Chandran photography #UnpostedLetters

Saturday, February 27, 2016

The Postcard!

Something I have not received in a really, really long time. Hell! I don't think I have even been sent a postcard.
So, this is a postcard from Brugge, Belgium. And its special. I have a feeling I am going to treasure it for a long time to come. 

Thursday, January 28, 2016

Saturday, January 9, 2016

Random Musings #2

1. I will do anything for Lindt. Esp Lindor truffles. The extra dark ones. Mmmmmm... 
2. I don't understand why I don't write often. Writing is good. Writing is therapy, at least for me. 
3. Marriage is not the reason why I don't write. I don't think getting married has changed the person I am. Marriage, for me has been settling with a roommate for life. A roommate who you can take for granted ; who will take care of you when you are sick and not run away seeing you puke; who will lend you money unconditionally; who is a guinea pig in your culinary experiments. 
4. I used to be the 'vivere senza rimpianti' person. I still am or am I not? Well, nobody regrets stuff that brought them happiness, so do they have the right to complain about the stuff that made them sad? Does this even make sense? :D
5.The INTERVIEW is next week. It could be a life changing day or not. Either way, I am going to make the most out of it.
6. I got myself a Fitbit and I am glad I did. 
7. An aunt passed away last month, a friend gave birth to a kid. The end of an era, the birth of a family. Life goes on.
8. I still love the ocean, my vital Vitamin SEA; pun intended. It makes my mind go blank, its like meditation, I lose control over my brain. All thoughts gone and I can focus on the waves.