Saturday, June 20, 2009

THE CALL .......

Right from my 10 th standard… I have been waiting for this… the CALL.. which wud tel me what I really wanted to do in life… no, not a religious or spiritual callin… sumthin tht wud tel me whr my real talents n interests lay…

N b4 I begin, I must tel u this… I m still waiting.. haven’t got the call ( inner calling) yet…its been 7 long yrs…

Till 10 th, my fav subject in skool was Social studies n I dreamt of becoming an Archeologist… wow…a paleontologist… studying fossils.. tht was it.. I wanted to do tht… Little futile dreams in a tiny mind…they burst like bubbles…once the (much ado bout nuthin ) 10 th class was over…

After 10 th, the decision was unanimous and without a doubt I went on to learn science… as after all.. after all… i really had no idea bout the whole stuff..I din even know wat u learnt in college.… n at 14 yrs, u really did listen to wat ur parents said…

I din wanna take up Maths.. thinking of it now.. but I was not given an option.. my parents, my brother… everyone thot the world revolves round Maths, it might b true.. n I din feel like arguing, so I went on wth it.. Maths n Biology… I began to find that I was fascinated with Chemistry… I loved to learn that.. Biology too… I was very much into learning bout the body n stuff… Physics and Maths I learnt bcoz I had to.. n I did love English as always… as soon as my 11 th classes began, I was asked to choose wat I wanted.. to bcome a doctor or go into Engineering… Engg was a definite no no… partly coz I din wanna learn techy stuff and (groan)..no more of Maths for me.. n even more coz my bro is an Engg… N I ve seen him toil… I chose the former.. Medicine was my aim.. But did I work for it??? NA… Wat did I know of entrance exams n stuff then??? I was too busy with my skool curriculum n tuitions…

I went ahead n wrote the xams ( aftr Entrance coachin at the well known P.C. Thomas classes, I must really dedicate a post to this… I Detested n despised n hated the sessions)… n to my surprise ( the family still wonders how it hapnd).. I got in for engg....and had a very high rankin( no, not a 10 digit cell fone number, but sumthn equally devastating) for medicine… Jus wat I din want… thr ensued a cold war at home.. with me wantin to spend an yr learning n attempt the exams again.. n my parents wantin me to go for Engg… I was stubborn.. I said… anything but tht… n one day…Mom came n sat near me… she said We wil Never allow u to WASTE an yr.. think of ur options ...wat r the subjects u like??? I thot.. Chemistry, Biology n English… No one wanted me to go for BA Eng ( I had big plans of doing journalism n bcomin a hot shot Reporter )… I dunno y… everyone thot science is definitely btr thn tht… n I went on to study BIOCHEMISTRY… my fav subjects( 2 in 1 option)… it din turn out to b wat I expected but anyways I loved the subject.. n I did quite well, I must say..n though I was given an option of writing the entrance once again aftr my first yr of degree.. I wasn’t interested… I was busy enjoyin my college life… din wanna lose tht…the friends… the joys of becoming a senior at clg…

Aftr degree, I had a few moths to ponder over wat I wanted… I wanted to go for Civil services… but u had to be 21 n I was jus turning 20… so… next … for a fleeting second, I had thots of MBA, wat was a gal like me learning Business administration for??? But now tht I think of it, it might hav been a btr option as the only thing I m good at it is TALKING… so mayb a career in sales n marketing wud ve been good.…(well, U think of right things at wrong times, always late…) so… I continued learning… Science… I wanted sumthin which offered exciting careers ( bah.. wat did I know then???) I wanted to b a scientist… hi hi… do research( CRAP)… n I ended up joining for my masters.. n I m quite proud to say I hav a Masters in Biotechnology ( I hav no idea wht tht certificate means… it is not gonna buy me food or clothes, I knw tht for sure) .. I evn hav a Post Grad diploma… an add on course with my PG…

N now at age 21 ( running 22 )… I still have no idea wat to do with my life… I wanted to go for PhD…I did prepare seriously for few xams a couple of months… But now I aint sure if thts wat I want… Am I really the kind who wud like to work in a lab 24/7 … to research…( and tht is, if sum institute takes me in)… Do I really want tht kind of a life.. I dunno… n I m over 21 now, so I can take the civil services xam… But do really want tht??? Am I made for tht??? I do not have regrets over wat I did with my life.. I am perfectly okay with the damn thing… but the future scares me…

So this is whr I stand… waitn for the ( damn) CALL… I m very optimistic, u see.. I hav decided to wait for a few more months b4 my parents decide to take matters into their hands n do sumthin drastic… u knw wat I mean.. its very hard for a gal in her twenties to sit at her home doing nothing… thr wil always be the dear aunties, who hav nothing better to do thn seek prospective brides to b given as gifts to waitin MIL’s…

( P.S : This is my very first post which has a word count over 1000… I jus checked it now…n boy, am I glad!!!)

24 comments:

Quest said...

I have got the call -'working for my country', its destined and an unknown force is slowly taking me forward is what I feel :)

Not interested in becoming a mad scientist and create new genetically superior life forms (like myself) ? ;) :D

Lakshmi said...

I guess not... Well.. i m still waiting... mera number bhi ek din aayega... :)I m interested in doing good for mankind, but the prob is I stil am undecided as to how I can bring the best in myself???

Anonymous said...

well..
so the calls delayed huh??..
take my advice..
get the idea..
u r 21..get married!!
:)
PS: don bother shouting at a stranger..its me chip. remember..oh you know me..

Shanu said...

Ohh God..trying to marry u off at 21!! wat has the world come to!!

Lakshmi said...

Chip is a best friend... he doesnt mean tht for sure.. He knws wats gonna come out of my mouth if he does...dont ya Chip???

Lakshmi said...

n Shanu, And as far r as my relatives r concerned, they dont hav anythin else to do... this is Kerala, meri jaan... things like this happen here.. fortunately, not in my family...:)
btb, ur blog is awesome.. readin ur posts now...

Crimson Feet said...

i have come to believe that this is absolutely nothing to worry about...

let me quote from the best "lesson of life" song i know... sunscreen...

"Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your
life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they
wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don’t."


read the entire lyrics here... u'll love it. http://www.lyricscrawler.com/song/3953.html

Amal Bose said...

wat amazes me is that uve got lots of interests in ur life at different points..
i think u shd sit down and think about what u shd do with ur life n do it. i personally dont believe in waiting for that call.. not that i wont come but u just cant waste time.. do something soon

tell marriage to wait, u shd first secure ur future n then think abt it

take care n good luck with ur future

Lakshmi said...

@ Crimson feet... Thanks a lot for song... loved it.. gr8 lyrics...N I hav learnt not to worry.. i still wait happily...:)

@ Amal... Its not my idea to sit n wait either... i ve done sat n put the thinkin cap on many times... to see wat i really want... came up with no answers... n weddin is definitely out of the question.. atleast for the next 3-4 yrs.. Man, I m jus beginnin my life.. i need to enjoy my life for sumtime..N its true.. I need to find my niche in the world..get settled,n do all i want to do being single b4 i think of commitment...

Choco said...

Lolz..I could just see myself in your post. Only difference was I had chosen commerce with everyone breathing down my neck to take up science. Why wouldn't you if you qualify??? But I wanted to take up English. Something I regret till date!

But I hope we see a post from you soon on how you have found your life's calling!
Till then
Cheers & thanks for your comment on my blog. Much appreciated :)

Lakshmi said...

I do hope n pray for tht too... mayb pretty soon... :) n It was a pleasure readin ur blog... gr8 work!!!

blunt edges said...

hmmm...very very VERY common prblm my frnd ***sympathetic nod***

i work in an IT firm...n now dat i hv ended up here, i mite just be in dis field 4 atleast 10 more yrs...n trust me dis isnt somethin "i always wanted 2 do"!

i neva figured out (till date) wat i wanna do wid my life...neva had any strong ambition...things hapnd n i let it hapn

i so deeply respect d ppl who knw wat dey want in life n go 4 it...i surely aint one

no advice 4 u (i suck at it!)...just lettin u knw u arent alone in dere...welcome 2 d club :D

ps: n u r bein flooded wid comments...m sure u r smilin all d while now...u rockstar ;)

Lakshmi said...

@ Blunt Edges... yeah, I guess even I ve left everythin to fate.. I mean, I wait for things to happen... mayb tht isnt the right way.. but I m happy :) Thts wat it is all bout right, being happy n content...
n I sure do hav tht stupid grin all the time.. Thanks to u, u were the first one.. series of comments hav followed... :)

blunt edges said...

ur reference 2 "fate" brings 2 mind one of d best dialog in movie history

Morpheus: Do you believe in fate, Neo?
Neo: No.
Morpheus: Why not?
Neo: Because I don't like the idea that I'm not in control of my life.

ahhh...kickass! :D

Lakshmi said...

I like tht... its true.. mayb i shudnt leave everythin to fate.. mayb i shud take things into my hand... but I don really believe I can control all things in my life.. If it were so, I wudnt be here...anyways as i said, I dont hav any regrets bout my life... till date...I choose to believe everythin happens for my own good...

blunt edges said...

ayyyooo...dont take d last comment seriously...dat was just a movie line i luv...nothin more :)

gyaan of d day: life n movies arent 2 be taken seriously ;)

Lakshmi said...

I dont take movies seriously.. but life... Hmmm.. am still learning... wat the hell life is all bout??? so am yet undecided( as usual) on whether i shud take it seriously or not....

blunt edges said...

lol...maybe i shud rephrase d gyaan of d day 2
"life, movies n words by blunt edges arent 2 be taken seriously" ;)

gayathri-vishwanathan said...

hey lakshmi...i am 23, and guess what... like you i am still waiting for that call...i guess we should just go with the flow of life. Don't think too much about life and all, sochne mein hee zindagi nikhal jayegi...just let it go as it is. chill u r just 21, enjoy life as it comes :)

Parikshith Kumar said...

Years ago, I got my call. And I said "Wrong number" and slammed the receiver down :-)

But seriously, I agree with Amal's comment. Do not wait for the call. You make the call yourself. Talk with your folks, if you are confused about what you want to do.

All the best!

Lakshmi said...

@ PK,
I m lettin u into a secret.. I m not exactly waitin for the call... I m waitin for my IV sem marksheet..I knw I wont sit doing nothin at home for long nor will my folks allow me too.. I m enjoyin the gr8est n mayb the longest break of my life.. aftr this, I knw life's not gonna b this easy...n durin this break.. I wil decide...WAT to do...

Parikshith Kumar said...

Good girl :-)

The Layman said...

U finished engineering, masters and a PG diploma by the time u r 21?????
What are you???

I'm from Thrissue.
Was a PC product

If you were in the 2001 - 2003 batch, I used to sing Parishudhathmave at times :D

Lakshmi said...

Ha ha... Parishudatmave...I had fond memories of singin it loud( screamin rather)...on every Sat evening.. a protest of my Parents sendin me every Sunday to the damn place..I used to say I had to practice for tmrw morn...I was in 02-04 batch..I hav a degree,a PG n a PG diplo..at 21..young genius!!!