I was barely a couple of weeks old when I was brought home… Home.. yes, it feels weird to say the word… home… home, a place where we feel we belong…
I opened my teeny tiny eyes to find many not so teeny tiny ones staring at me… they had a kinda confused look on their faces…
[ Don’t ask me how I cud remember all tht @ 14 days… This is a story n u r not supposed to ask questions… all right? ]
Some touched my cheek with little fingers… they were all kids.. my cousins…
My proud Mother had me in her lap… N I could see my Dad beaming….
I drank loadsa milk… I began to grow.. one day at a time… learning new things… watchin people… experimenting with the world around me….
I had a bunch of cousins to keep me company… 2 of them who were almost my age…
I was given a name, a beautiful one…tht one…
I was my Dad’s pet and my mom’s little baby….
I grew up.. under their vigilant eyes… their caressing hands…
I still remember the time I was sick.. down with chicken pox… OMG.. it was terrible… but I got thru… hale n hearty…
My parents have always been there for me….
I turned 10…. N then I grew on…
The year I turned 12…. One day I reach home to find my parents kinda troubled… Don ask me how I found out.. I jus knew it.. U get this feeling in
I woke up @ nite to hear my mom cry….
I hated tht…
I hated the fact tht they were keeping a secret from me….
Was it me???
Had I done something wrong???
I askd Dad the next day while he was dressing me up for school…
No, beta.. its nothing, everything’s fine… run along, my little doll….Everything’s jus fine….
That evening I was told we were leaving for our native place that weekend… tht came as a surprise since we went there only for vacations n only if I had more than a couple of days holidays…
I never remember takin a leave for anything other than really important stuff… that being me getting really sick….
I askd Mom immediately….
Nothin dear… u got 2 days leave,
We thought we could go n meet
Yeah sure…
That night, mom did a weird thing.. I mean… while she was putting me in bed, she asked me if I would like her to tell me a story…
Okay…( she doesn’t normally do this… not since I was 8 or 9…hmmmm)
Baby, did u know tht many people do not have kids???
Kids are God’s gifts, you know… and many couples do not have children..
Yeah I know…aunt n uncle don’t, right… they always tell me.. they have me, so its okay… J
After our marriage, we did not have kids for a long, long time… n then we prayed, prayed a lot… n then God gave you…
I could sense she was breaking down.. I did not know why… mothers cry sometimes.. for reasons you never know…
What happended, ma??? R u okay???
Yeah I am….. I just wanted to tell you… we love you… we always will and nothing can ever change that…
I know tht ma… I love you too….( I hugged her tight, I held her close… I was scared… I did not know why… )
Friday came….n we set off….
On Saturday morning.. my aunt said we were going out.. jus me, my parents n aunt.. no cousins… they all suddenly had home work to do…
We went shopping… I got a brand new pink frock…and had strawberry ice cream…
And then we stopped in front of this large building….
It looked like a school… or even a hospital…
It had this big statue of Christ in front…. I prayed.. like I always did.. I was taught to respect all religions…
Why r we here???
Aunt has to see someone… come on, lets go in…
We waited in a big hall.. n then we were shown inside.. to see a motherly lady.. a sister…
She beckoned to me, I went near… she held me close….n smiled….
She asked me my name, and details bout my friends…
And asked me who I liked most, My mom or Dad???
Y do adults always ask that???
That is the toughest question ever….
N I love them both equally so I said tht…
She rang a bell…another sister came in and served coffee… I was asked to go along with the sister…
We walked along the corridor n I was left at a park.. a kind of play area..
There were swings… I liked swings…
I sat on one…
The Other sister, I think she was called the Mother Superior, came along….
And asked me to come with her…to meet some other kids…so that I could play with them… well, I hoped so…
She took me to this long hall.. it looked like a dorm… on the top floor…
There were about a dozen babies there… babies as in… cradles…
Wailing ones, sleeping ones, and I saw one that smiled at me…
You know who these people are???
They are God’s children…they come here after they r born and we take care of them…
SO… where r their parents???
They don’t hav parents, baby… God is their father, mother n everything….
SO.. r these orphans???
I was 12 and old enuff to know the term… I d been told bout orphans at school…
People call them orphans… they are not orphaned… they have God to help them…take them through life…
N us to take care of them when they are kids…
I didn’t have anything to say…
She went on….
12 yrs back….
There was a tiny little girl.. in one of these cradles….
One fine day, two good hearted people came and took her away… so that they could take care of her, look after her, love her….
I was… I dunno.. I don’t have any words that could probably express what I felt at that moment…
That was you… and look how you ve grown up…You are a big girl now n these are your little brothers n sisters….
Tears welled up... my throat choked… and I had nothing to say….
I ran away from the room… into my Dad’s waiting hands…and cried….
Cried a lot….
I do not remember anything else that happened…
Until that nite…
Dad came into my room and hugged me tight…
I had not allowed anyone to come near me till then….
Do all the cousins know???
( my first question)
What baby???
Do they know I am an orphan???
You are not an orphan my child… you have me, your mother…
Don’t ever say that again….
We both cried…a lot.. n then Ma came along n hugged me tight ….
We sat that way for a long time…
I just had one thing to say…
I wish you both had been my real parents… having adopted me, you love me so much… what would it have been like if I was really your daughter????
My dad jus hugged me closer n wept his heart out…
I was quiet… very much preferring my solitary comfort for a week…
N then.. I got out of my cocoon…I learnt to smile once again…
I got back to my drawing books…
I got back to my dance lessons…
No one has ever spoken of it again…
I m an year older now…
And to tel u the truth…. I do wonder who my parents really are???
Wouldn’t everyone want to know????
What would have made my mother not want me???
She would have had her reasons, I know… I prefer not to think of them
But…
Frm tht day onwards…
I am on the look out… for whom, I do not know… where I do not know…
But I have this fear in my mind… what if the person who walks by next to me on the street is actually my mother???